If you want to be the kind of person your children look up to, say goodbye to these habits

From the Personal Branding Blog

I’ve always believed that being a good parent isn’t just about what we teach our kids—it’s about what we show them through our actions.

We all want our children to look up to us, to see us as role models they can respect and learn from. But here’s the hard truth: they’re watching everything we do, not just the lessons we try to teach them.

It’s easy to think that love and good intentions are enough. But certain habits—ones we barely even notice—can quietly chip away at the way our kids see us.

If you truly want to be someone your children admire, it’s time to take a closer look at these habits and leave them behind.

1) Making promises you don’t keep

It might seem like a small thing—telling your kids you’ll play with them later and then getting too busy, or promising a weekend trip that never happens. But to them, it’s bigger than you think.

When you break promises, even unintentionally, you teach them that your word doesn’t mean much. Over time, they stop believing what you say.

Being someone your children look up to means showing them that trust matters. If you make a promise, keep it. And if something truly prevents you from following through, acknowledge it and make it right.

2) Reacting with anger instead of patience

I’ll admit it—there have been times when I’ve snapped at my kids over something small. Maybe I was exhausted, stressed, or just having a bad day.

But looking back, I don’t remember what frustrated me in the moment. I only remember the look on their faces.

Kids make mistakes. They spill things, ask endless questions, and push boundaries. But when my first reaction is frustration instead of patience, I’m teaching them that anger is the way to handle problems.

I want my children to see me as someone who stays calm under pressure, someone they can turn to without fear of an overreaction.

That means taking a deep breath, pausing before I speak, and showing them that mistakes aren’t the end of the world—they’re just part of learning.

3) Prioritizing your phone over the people in front of you

I’ve caught myself doing it—nodding along to my child’s story while my eyes are glued to my phone. Scrolling through emails, checking messages, and reading something that could definitely wait.

And I’ve seen the moment they realize I’m not really there. The way their voice trails off. The way they stop trying.

It stings to admit, but what message am I sending? That whatever is on my screen is more important than them? That half-listening is enough?

If I want my kids to grow up feeling heard, valued, and respected, I need to put the phone down. Not just sometimes—consistently.

Because if I don’t give them my full attention now, why should they believe I’ll be there when it really matters?

4) Never admitting when you’re wrong

There was a time when I thought that being a good parent meant always having the answers, and always being right. But the truth is, I’ve been wrong more times than I can count.

I’ve misunderstood situations, jumped to conclusions, and said things I shouldn’t have. And for a long time, I let my pride get in the way of admitting it.

But here’s what I’ve learned—when I refuse to acknowledge my mistakes, I teach my kids that admitting fault is a weakness. That protecting your ego is more important than doing what’s right.

I don’t want to be that kind of example. So now, when I mess up, I own it. I apologize. I show them that being accountable doesn’t make you weaker—it makes you someone worth looking up to.

5) Letting stress control your mood

Stress is unavoidable. But the way we handle it? That’s what our kids remember.

Studies have shown that children pick up on their parents’ stress levels, even when we think we’re hiding it. They notice the tension in our voices, the way we sigh heavily, the way our patience runs thin. And over time, they start mirroring that behavior in their own lives.

I don’t want my children to grow up believing that stress is an excuse to be short-tempered or distant. So I remind myself—they’re watching.

If I want them to learn resilience, I have to show them what it looks like. Taking a deep breath, stepping away when needed, and choosing to respond instead of react.

6) Expecting perfection from yourself or them

I used to think being a good parent meant getting everything right—never losing my temper, always knowing the right thing to say, and handling every situation flawlessly.

But that kind of pressure? It’s exhausting. And worse, it sets an impossible standard for my kids, too.

I don’t want them to grow up thinking they have to be perfect to be worthy of love or respect. I want them to know that mistakes are part of life and that growth comes from learning, not from never failing.

So when I mess up, I show them grace. When they mess up, I remind them that one mistake doesn’t define them. And little by little, we learn together that trying our best is enough.

7) Neglecting to show them what love looks like

I tell my kids I love them every day. But I’ve realized that words mean little if they’re not backed up by actions.

Love looks like patience when they’re struggling, presence when they need you, and forgiveness when they mess up. It looks like laughter, late-night talks, and showing up—again and again, even on the hard days.

Our children learn what love is by the way we treat them. And one day, they’ll carry that into how they treat themselves and others.

So the most important thing I can do? Make sure they never have to question it.

The bottom line

Your children won’t remember every lesson you try to teach them, but they will remember how you made them feel.

They’re watching—not just what you say, but how you live. The way you handle mistakes, the way you treat others, the way you show up even when it’s hard.

No parent is perfect. You’re going to stumble. But what matters is that you keep trying, keep growing, and keep showing them what it means to be someone worth looking up to.

Because in the end, the best way to raise good humans is to strive to be one yourself.

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