People who are calm on the surface but in survival mode underneath usually display these 8 behaviors

From the Personal Branding Blog

There’s a stark contrast between what we show to the world and what we’re truly feeling inside.

Often, individuals appear calm and collected on the surface, but beneath that serene exterior, they’re in constant survival mode.

Navigating life in this manner is like keeping a swan-like grace on a lake’s surface while paddling furiously under the water. It’s a tough balancing act, and there are telltale signs that highlight this struggle.

Here are eight behaviors often displayed by people who seem relaxed but are secretly in survival mode.

Let’s get started.

1) They are always prepared

Those who seem tranquil on the outside but are always in survival mode have one common trait – they are always prepared.

This doesn’t mean they’re necessarily expecting the worst, but they’re ready for it. It’s like an underlying current, a constant state of readiness that guides their actions and decisions.

Their bag might be packed with essentials at all times, or they may have contingency plans for every problem that could arise. It’s not about being paranoid, but about feeling secure.

This ‘always ready’ mentality can be a lifesaver in times of crisis but can also add a layer of stress to everyday life. It’s a balancing act that is a telltale sign of someone constantly in survival mode.

2) They control their emotions

For those of us who might seem cool as a cucumber, but are in survival mode on the inside, controlling our emotions is a common behavior.

I’ll share a personal example to illustrate this.

I remember once when a pipe burst in my home. Water was gushing everywhere, soaking the carpets and creeping towards the electrical outlets. It was a nightmare scenario for anyone, but I remained calm on the outside. Internally, I was in high gear, mentally running through all possible solutions.

While others were panicking, I calmly directed everyone out of the house and shut off the main water supply. My heart was racing, but I didn’t let it show on my face or in my voice.

This rigid control over emotions comes from being constantly in survival mode. We’re always ready to act, to keep the situation under control, even when we’re internally panicking.

3) They’re excellent observers

People who appear calm but are in survival mode are often extremely observant. They’re the ones who notice the smallest details and changes in their environment or in people’s behavior. This hyper-awareness often stems from their underlying readiness for any potential threats or problems.

Interestingly, this keen observation skill aligns with what psychologists call ‘hypervigilance’. Hypervigilance is a state of heightened alertness and sensitivity to one’s surroundings. It’s often seen in individuals who have experienced trauma or high levels of stress.

If you find someone who seems to notice everything, they may be living in a constant state of survival mode, even if they appear calm and collected on the surface.

4) They often put others before themselves

People who carry a calm exterior while constantly being in survival mode often put others before themselves.

They’ll be the ones to make sure everyone else is safe and comfortable before attending to their own needs. It’s not just about being selfless, but also about maintaining control over the situation. By ensuring everyone else is okay, they’re indirectly asserting that they have everything under control.

This behavior can sometimes lead to neglecting their own needs and well-being. So if you notice someone always looking out for others, seemingly calm but never really relaxing, they might just be in that survival mode underneath.

5) They struggle with letting go

For those who appear serene but are internally in survival mode, letting go can be a real battle.

They hold on to control, to predictability, and to their meticulously crafted plans. The unknown is a vast ocean they’d rather not navigate, as it threatens their sense of control and security.

This struggle isn’t about being stubborn or inflexible; it’s a heartfelt attempt to keep their world intact. So if you see someone who finds it hard to let go, to change plans or embrace unpredictability, they might be trying to keep their calm while wrestling with survival mode underneath. It’s not easy, and it calls for understanding and empathy from those around them.

6) They crave routine

Routine and predictability can be a sanctuary for those of us navigating life in survival mode.

I’ve always found solace in the comfort of a routine. Knowing what’s going to happen next, having a plan for each day, each hour, it gives me a sense of control over my world.

It’s like a safety net that assures me no matter how chaotic things get, there’s a structure to fall back on. So when my routine gets disrupted, it feels like that safety net is being pulled away.

If you come across someone who sticks to their routine like glue and seems agitated or uneasy when it’s disrupted, they could be managing an underlying survival mode while maintaining their calm exterior.

7) They’re excellent problem solvers

Another common trait amongst those who seem calm but are in survival mode is their knack for problem-solving.

They’ve had to constantly adapt and navigate through life’s unexpected turns, honing their problem-solving skills along the way. They can quickly assess a situation, identify potential obstacles, and devise a plan of action.

This ability to solve problems efficiently helps them maintain their calm exterior. But it also signals the perpetual survival mode running in the background. If you notice someone always stepping up with solutions, they could be another swan gracefully gliding on the surface while paddling furiously underneath.

8) They rarely ask for help

The most crucial thing to understand about people who are calm on the surface but in survival mode underneath is that they rarely ask for help.

They’re so accustomed to handling everything themselves, tackling problems head-on, and being the dependable one, that reaching out for assistance feels foreign. It’s not about pride or wanting to appear strong; it’s simply a part of their survival mode – they believe they have to do everything themselves to maintain control.

This behavior can often leave them feeling isolated and overwhelmed. If you know someone who fits this description, remember, they might not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it.

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