8 behaviors of people who emotionally drain everyone around them, according to psychology

From the Personal Branding Blog

Imagine meeting a friend for coffee, but instead of leaving energized, you walk away feeling utterly exhausted after hearing your dear friend talking about how much they hated this and that.

What in the world happened?

Chances are, it’s because you’ve just encountered someone who unconsciously engages in emotionally draining behaviors.

Psychology explains how certain habits—like excessive negativity or constant neediness—can sap the energy of everyone around.

These patterns not only affect relationships but can also impact mental health.

Understanding these behaviors is the first step to protecting yourself from emotional fatigue:

1) Constant negativity

We all have our ups and downs, but some individuals seem to dwell in a perpetual state of negativity.

This is one of the eight behaviors that can emotionally drain those around them, according to psychology.

These individuals may constantly see the glass as half empty, focusing on problems rather than solutions.

Their negative outlook can be contagious, spreading a feeling of doom and gloom to those around them.

It’s like they suck all the positivity out of the room.

Chronic negativity isn’t just a downer—it can also take a toll on your mental health, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted.

Understanding this behavior can help you better navigate your interactions with these individuals, and perhaps even support them in seeing things from a brighter perspective.

But it’s crucial not to let their negativity consume you; protecting your own emotional wellbeing should always be a priority.

2) Excessive positivity

It might seem surprising, but another behavior that can drain people emotionally is excessive positivity.

Yes, you read that right!

While optimism is generally seen as a good thing, too much of it can become emotionally taxing.

People who are excessively positive can often dismiss or downplay real problems and emotions in favor of maintaining a positive facade.

This can invalidate the feelings of others and make it difficult for them to express genuine concerns or negative emotions.

This relentless positivity can create pressure for others to also present a cheerful exterior, even when they’re not feeling that way.

It can feel like you’re not allowed to have a bad day or be in a bad mood around them.

Genuine positivity is fantastic, but when it becomes a mask that hides real issues or feelings, it can become another source of emotional drain.

3) Chronic complaining

Complaining is a common behavior, but when it becomes excessive, it can be incredibly draining for those around.

Chronic complainers often fail to take responsibility for their actions and instead prefer to blame others or their circumstances for their problems.

This behavior can create a toxic environment, as it tends to breed negativity and fosters a victim mentality.

It can also lead to increased stress levels in those who have to listen to the constant complaints.

Did you know that our brains naturally tend to mimic the moods of those around us?

This phenomenon, known as emotional contagion, explains why being around a chronic complainer can make you feel down or stressed too.

It’s important to remember that everybody complains sometimes.

However, when it becomes a regular pattern of behavior, it can start to drain the energy and positivity from those in their vicinity.

4) Over-dependency

We all lean on others for support and assistance from time to time, but when someone becomes overly dependent, it can become emotionally draining for those around them.

These individuals may constantly seek reassurance, advice, or help for tasks they could manage themselves.

It’s crucial to remember that the person probably isn’t acting this way on purpose.

They might be dealing with insecurities, low self-esteem, or other personal struggles.

They may need your support more than ever, even if their behavior feels overwhelming at times.

However, it’s equally important to establish boundaries to protect your own mental and emotional well-being.

It’s absolutely okay to offer help and reassurance when you can, but it’s equally okay to step back when you need to.

5) Attention-seeking behavior

We all like a bit of attention now and then, it’s human nature.

However, when someone constantly seeks the spotlight, it can become emotionally draining for those around them.

This behavior often manifests as dramatic stories, exaggerated emotions, or always turning the conversation back to themselves.

You might find that you can’t share your own experiences or feelings without them trying to one-up you or shift the focus back onto themselves.

It can leave you feeling unheard and undervalued.

Healthy relationships should involve give and take from both sides.

6) Lack of empathy

You’ve probably come across someone who doesn’t seem to understand or care about how you’re feeling.

This lack of empathy can be particularly draining, as it can leave you feeling misunderstood and unsupported.

For instance, let’s say you’ve had a tough day at work, dealing with a difficult client.

You share your experience with this person, hoping for some understanding or sympathy.

But instead, they brush your feelings aside or make light of your struggles.

This behavior isn’t about being malicious or uncaring.

They may simply lack the ability to fully understand or share the feelings of others.

However, regularly dealing with this lack of empathy can leave you feeling drained and emotionally unsupported.

Recognizing this trait can help you manage your expectations in your interactions with them and seek emotional support elsewhere when needed.

7) Unreliability

There’s nothing quite as draining as constantly dealing with an unreliable person.

They’re the ones who cancel plans at the last minute, fail to meet deadlines, or are perpetually late.

Their behavior may leave you feeling disrespected and undervalued.

You might find yourself constantly picking up the slack, rearranging your schedule, or waiting around for them.

Yes, life happens, and everyone can be unreliable sometimes.

But when it’s a consistent pattern, it’s a different story.

It’s important to call this behavior out and let them know how it affects you.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who respect your time and energy.

If someone repeatedly proves unreliable, it may be time to reconsider how much you can rely on them in the future.

8) Self-centeredness

Last but not least, dealing with someone who is self-centered can be emotionally draining.

These individuals tend to prioritize their own needs and feelings above those of others, often disregarding how their actions may affect you.

You might find that conversations revolve around them, your needs are often sidelined, or they have little interest in your opinions or feelings.

Bear in mind that it’s natural for everyone to be self-focused at times.

But if it’s a consistent behavior, it can leave you feeling unimportant and emotionally drained.

The most important thing to remember is this: you deserve respect, understanding, and empathy in your relationships.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and establish boundaries when necessary.

Your emotional well-being matters too!

Wrapping up

Managing emotionally draining relationships can be tough, but recognizing these behaviors is the first step to handling them better.

This isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding and empathy.

We all have our challenges, and the goal is to recognize, address, and grow from them.

You have the power to set boundaries, express your feelings, and protect your emotional well-being.

Here’s to healthier relationships, greater understanding, and a happier you!

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