10 life lessons 97% of people learn a bit too late in life, according to psychologists

From the Personal Branding Blog

There’s a clear distinction between learning life’s lessons early or way too late.

The crux of the matter is timing. Learning important lessons too late can mean missed opportunities and unnecessary hardships.

According to psychologists, around 97% of people fall into this trap – learning essential life lessons a bit too late. But what if we could get a head start?

Let’s set you ahead of the curve and save you some heartache.

1) Happiness is a state, not a destination

Ask any psychologist, and they’ll tell you this is a big one. The quest for happiness can become a lifelong pursuit. But here’s the catch – happiness isn’t some grand destination you eventually arrive at.

Think about it. We often tie happiness to certain milestones – landing the dream job, getting married, buying a house. But when we reach these milestones, the happiness they bring is fleeting. We soon set our sights on the next goal, and the cycle continues.

This chase for constant happiness can ironically lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment. And by the time most people realize this, they’ve lost precious moments basking in discontentment.

According to renowned psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command.”

Rather than viewing happiness as a destination, understand it as a state of being, appreciating the present moment for what it is. It’s a lesson we should all learn early, but sadly, 97% of us learn it too late.

2) Failure is a stepping stone, not a roadblock

Early in my career, I remember being absolutely devastated after losing out on a significant promotion. At the time, it felt like the end of the world. But looking back, I see it as one of my most valuable experiences.

You see, failure is often viewed as a disaster, an event to avoid at all costs. But that’s far from the truth. In reality, failure is a stepping stone towards success. It offers us invaluable lessons and insights that we won’t get elsewhere.

Albert Einstein once said, “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” And he couldn’t have been more accurate.

The failure to secure that promotion led me to reevaluate my skills and areas for improvement. It motivated me to work harder and smarter, and ultimately, it put me on a path towards greater achievements.

Like me, 97% of people learn this lesson late in life. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Embrace failure early on – not as a roadblock but as a stepping stone towards your goals.

3) Perfection is an illusion

Let me be honest here. For the longest time, I strived for perfection. Be it in my work, relationships, or personal goals, I always aimed for that elusive 100%. And let me tell you, it was exhausting.

The pursuit of perfection is a common trap many of us fall into. We continuously push ourselves to reach unrealistic standards, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.

According to psychologist Carl Rogers, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” This encapsulates the importance of embracing our flaws and accepting that we are all works in progress.

Perfection is an illusion, my friends. It’s high time we stop chasing it and start appreciating our progress, no matter how small.

4) Self-care is not selfish

Growing up, I was always told to put others first. And while there’s nothing wrong with being considerate and kind, I later realized that constantly prioritizing others over myself was taking a toll on my mental health.

The truth is, self-care is not selfish. It’s essential. Taking time out for yourself, prioritizing your needs, and setting boundaries are necessary for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

Esteemed psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” This underlines the importance of understanding and taking care of our own needs first.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. So it’s crucial to take care of yourself before you can effectively take care of others.

5) You don’t always have to be busy to be productive

Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. In today’s fast-paced world, we often equate busyness with productivity. But in my experience, that’s far from the truth.

Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being effective or productive. Sometimes, it just means you’re spreading yourself too thin, leading to burnout and decreased productivity over time.

Being constantly busy can actually deter your focus and productivity.

So contrary to popular belief, it’s essential to take breaks, rest, and recharge. Only then can you truly be productive and perform at your best.

6) It’s okay not to have all the answers

In our quest for knowledge and understanding, we often put pressure on ourselves to have all the answers. But here’s the thing – it’s okay not to know everything.

Accepting our limitations and uncertainties can be empowering. It opens the door for growth, learning, and exploration.

Accepting that you don’t have all the answers is a part of accepting yourself. It’s understanding that you are a work in progress, continuously learning and evolving.

Unfortunately, this is a lesson most of us learn late in life. But once we do, it can lead to a profound sense of peace and open-mindedness.

7) Comparison is the thief of joy

I’ve spent a good chunk of my life comparing my journey to others’. Whether it was in school, at work, or even on social media, I constantly found myself measuring my achievements against those around me. Over time, I realized this comparison was doing more harm than good.

Comparison often leads to self-doubt, jealousy, and discontentment. It robs us of our joy and prevents us from appreciating our unique journey.

Most people learn this lesson too late in life. But understanding early that comparison is indeed the thief of joy can make our lives so much happier and content. So let’s focus on our path and celebrate our unique journey.

8) Seeking approval is a losing game

Here’s something raw and honest – I spent years trying to fit in, seeking validation from others. But no matter how hard I tried, there was always someone who disapproved. It was draining and unfulfilling.

The need for external approval can be suffocating. It drives us to suppress our true selves in order to fit into societal norms or meet others’ expectations.

Psychologist Carl Rogers profoundly stated, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

This resonates with the idea that we should seek self-growth and self-acceptance, rather than constantly seeking the approval of others.

It’s a tough lesson that many people learn late in life. But the sooner we realize that seeking approval is a losing game, the sooner we can start living authentically and freely.

9) Sometimes, quitting is the best option

Here’s something you might not hear often – quitting can sometimes be the best thing to do. We’re conditioned to believe that quitting equals failure. But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes, quitting allows us to let go of things that no longer serve us or align with our goals. It can free up our time and energy for things that truly matter.

Letting go of unhealthy situations and relationships is not giving up, but growing up. Quitting isn’t always a negative thing. In fact, it can be a sign of maturity and self-awareness.

Knowing when to quit can save us from unnecessary struggle and hardship. So remember, it’s okay to quit if it means making room for something better.

10) It’s never too late to change

I spent a large portion of my life believing that certain traits and habits were just a part of who I was, set in stone, unchangeable. But over time, I’ve learned that it’s never too late to change.

Change is possible at any age and at any stage of life. Whether it’s breaking bad habits, learning new skills, or changing our attitudes, we always have the power to evolve and grow.

Psychologist B.F. Skinner once said, “A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.”

This highlights the importance of continuous effort and reinforces the idea that change is always within our reach.

Most people learn this lesson later than they should. But once we grasp it, it can be incredibly liberating.

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