Obama monitoring the man in Red

using “his army” mostly DHS regulars, the TSA, and the IRS Obama has shaken down “The Man in Red” – two days before he is to go live.

A TSA spokesman had this to say ~ “we are confident the man in red (TMIR) presents no threat to our children, corporate profits, nor the near monoply that is the airline industry. He was made to remove his suit down to his whities ~ and the 3d scanner confirmed him clean.  Others with the TSA are still concearned with the “man in red’s” airship – it is rumored he has a satchel that continuously fills itself as TMIR makes his way around earth.  the concearn of course is that while he has been declared clean now, “who is to say in flight he doesnt fill his sack with something heinous like a WMD or a bible?”

Despite the conceanr DHS plans to allow the man in red’s entry to the US.  “He will be closely monitored however, and should DHS agents feel it neccesary they will being him in for questions, DNA testing, or whatever else they think is appropriate.”  This is “about your safety” they said. An anonymous source asking to not be named said it is widely belived TMIR has stolen US technology used in the latest UAV and stealth crafts.  TMIR’s star ship is not visible on radar.

While the man in red has been allowed entry to the US, Obama has still demanded an IRS audit of the sack of toys.  The fear of course being many if not all toys will be made in china knockoffs – poorly crafted, probably dangerous. Obama was quoted as saying “we just want to make sure this fella is paying his fair share.”  A man with a magical sack like the man in red’s can afford to pay more – and should pay more.  “Plenty of other people in the world once thought about making toys – those folks, just….well,  didnt have the opportunity, or  someone took it from them.”  Besides that Obama also stated he will push for citizenship for the many elvs TMIR employs.  “If you are an elf, already making toys here – or up north, you should be able to stay here. “

Senators Paul and Cruz counter that Obama is punishing TMIR and most likely will squash his business.  Paul stated “I know for a fact TMIR will have to lay off at least 1/3 of the elf staff to cover the coming costs of obamacare.”  And beyond that “no one can tell how much an elf plan will cost ~ although the Obama folks say it will be “rad” and “awesome” for all elves to be covered.  not just those that want to be, and can afford to be.  Some choosing not to be covered ~ well that isnt a choice you need to be making.  

http://news.yahoo.com/santa-cleared-entry-us-210717256.html