My Friend Shirley

I lost my friend, Shirley, January 23, 2023. It was about six weeks after she flew from Texas to Arizona to attend my swearing in as Prescott Valley Town Council Member.

I met Shirley when I was one of the organizers of Hancock Park Patriots. Shirley was a speaker at one of our meetings. She had founded an organization called Urban Game Changers. She was trying valiantly to turn urban communities red. I admired her ambition.

About a year later Ted Hayes, a homeless advocate, was organizing a bus trip to DC for Black anti-amnesty activists. There was a big rally being organized nationwide. I thought that would be a good opportunity to see if we could agree on other issues as well. Ted and I were friends so I asked him if I could come.

When I showed up to the buses with my suitcase I got some very strange looks. We were sent two brand new Mercedes Benz busses. There were 40 on each bus and two drivers for each because we were planning to drive straight across the country. Shirley was on this trip and although we knew each other, we only knew each other casually. Shirley had brought her son Kenneth with her.

Being the only White person in a group was an interesting experience. I learned many things I didn’t know. There were TV’s mounted above every few seats and a young man played videos along the way that gave Black history and other related subjects. One had a college professor that explained the greater level of Melenin indicated that Blacks were a more highly evolved, superior race.

I also learned we aren’t allowed to touch a Black woman’s hair. Other than my hairdresser I can’t think of anyone touching my hair so I’m not sure why that’s an issue. A number of the women on the trip wore turbans or wigs. A group of women took me under their wings.

The buses stopped at truck stops along the way. I had never been to a truck stop. Interesting. Most had fast food counters like McDonalds or Taco Bell. And they had showers. We had time to get food but not shower.

It took three days to get from LA to DC. A Rally had been organized. The participants were supposed to march up Pennsylvania Ave to Lafayette Park. Ted Hayes was supposed to lead the parade. But our driver couldn’t find the street. I told him he passed it. I tried to tell him how to find it but he wouldn’t listen. By the time he finally did find it the parade had already happened. Our group marched up to the park by ourselves.

The park was filled with groups from different states. Our group was surprised to see so many White people in the groups supporting them. There were many speakers, Congressman Steve King, Senator Ted Cruz, Alan West, Ted Hayes, Jesse Lee Peterson and others.

After the rally Shirley, Kenneth and I were walking and Shirley said she needed to meet a friend at Union station. I told her she was going the wrong way. I knew how to get there so we turned and made our way to the station. We were picked up there and taken to the Washington Times building. Shirley did an interview for them and we went back to Union station and had lunch.

We decided to walk down the mall and visit museums and memorials. Shirley especially wanted to see the Lincoln and Martin Luther King memorials. We went the Black History museum and all the memorials along the way and ended up at the Martin Luther King memorial. We talked and walked back up the mall and sat at the Second World War memorial pool and stick our feet in the water.

From this time on we were good friends. Shirley would call me and we’d talk for hours. She always called me Mama. There were college student groups that were making political videos and Shirley would have them use me. I did about six or more videos, about climate change, illegal immigration, White privilege and other subjects.

Shirley met just about every Conservative journalist and politician. She was invited to the White House twice. She also, at the 2016 Republican Convention, was the one who said, “From the great state of California, we have ?? number of votes for Donald J. Trump”.

After her divorce she was living in the San Fernando Valley and would call and ask me to join her for coffee & pastry at a bakery in Studio City. She was planning to move to Texas. We would talk for hours about politics and her plans to move to Texas. She was so surprised when I moved to Arizona before she moved to Texas.

She called me in August of 2021 and I told her I had just been elected to the Prescott Valley Town Council. I told her I’d be sworn in in December. She decided she would come for my swearing in. I told her my girls were coming and would be using my guest room and she said she’d sleep on the couch.

When December came, Shirley called when she landed in Phoenix and said she was renting a car and would drive to my house. About an hour later a strange woman called and told me she didn’t think Shirley could continue the drive without resting for a while. She said she was napping in her car. I thought that was very odd. Shirley was always quite fit. About an hour later she called and thought it might be another hour. I told her I had to pick up my girls from the Prescott airport and might not be home when she got there. She said she’d wait.

When my girls and I got back from the airport Shirley was sleeping in her car. The girls helped her into my house and she told them she just loved their Mom. We all talked for a while and then I got a comfy pillow and comforter for Shirley. The next morning she was still sleeping when we all got up. I helped her into my bedroom so she could continue to sleep. I thought she was just exhausted from the trip from Texas but it did seem unusual.

That night was the swearing in and after we were going to Ciao Bella for dinner. Bill and Gigi Becker, who had moved to Scottsdale, AZ had also come for my swearing in. We all went to the Council Auditorium. After the swearing I and before going to dinner Shirley told me what was wrong. She had stage four ovarian cancer. She wasn’t up to go to the dinner so I took her back to my house and set her up in the guest bedroom because my girls were going to spend the night with my sister.

I joined my girls, Romona, the Beckers and my sister and brother-in-law at Ciao Bella. The next day we planned to go to Archer Night in Prescott and then have dinner at the Hassayampa Inn. Shirley was feeling up to it so we all went to Prescott and walked around the town square listening to music. It was a beautiful night and the Christmas lights were everywhere. Shirley didn’t go to any of the places where there were stairs and when we went to the Hassayampa Inn Tori walked slowly with her because it was a block up hill and Shirley had to go slowly.

When we got home that night I told Shirley that I would drive her to the Phoenix airport the next day because I didn’t think she should try to drive. She agreed it wouldn’t be a good idea to drive. She called some friends she knew in the area and they came and picked her up in the morning. One of them took her rental car to return. She called me when she got home and told me she was feeling better. I still couldn’t believe she had come to my swearing in when she was so sick. She said she wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

A few weeks later her son texted me and told me she was in the hospital. I called and talked to her, told her I was praying for her. A few days later her son let me know she had passed.

When I got her Memorial notice, I realized I had never known how old she was. She had always called me Mama and when I saw her birth date it was the exact date of my oldest daughter’s birthday.

I miss my friend, Shirley. I miss her phone calls and funny stories. She raised three wonderful sons while tirelessly working to make the world a better place. We lost a beautiful soul too soon.

Source: https://madderthanhell.wordpress.com/2025/11/26/my-friend-shirley/