“It Seemed Romantic at the Time” - The Insanity of Love - Dr Max Butterfield (Video)
In this 9 March 2026 published Modern Wisdom video, host Chris Williamson talks with Dr. Max Butterfield, an experimental psychologist and professor who studies relationships and decision-making.
Why does love make us do crazy things? Rom-coms make relationships look easy, but real love is far more complicated. So what actually makes a relationship work—and why does love make us act irrationally?
Expect to learn what science says about what people should do to recover from a breakup, if the Norwegian skier who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend was doing more harm than good to his relationship, what Dr Max wished more men and women knew about how to signal interest, why we ruminate so much and how to ruminate less, what healthy communication actually looks like and more.
https://youtu.be/83Jo70IkWCo
0:00 Did This Declaration of Love Backfire?
7:37 Why Grand Gestures are a Bad Idea
14:03 The Science of Bouncing Back After a Breakup
18:58 Is a Breakup Really Like Losing Someone?
20:31 Why Do We Ruminate So Much?
31:01 How Rejection Shapes US
32:32 How Can We Better Signal Interest?
37:52 Why Women Signal Beauty Through Clothing
44:30 Is She Actually Out of His League?
47:02 The Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore
50:32 Why the Evolutionary Approach to Relationships is So Fascinating
56:36 The Green Flags to Look For in a Partner
01:03:51 The Power of a Psychological Reset
01:11:18 Why We Need to Be Direct in Our Communication
01:16:27 The Hidden Role of Indirect Aggression
01:21:36 Why is Intrasexual Competition Such a Controversial Topic?
01:27:12 Why Healthy Communication is So Important
01:38:33 What’s Next For Ben
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