Top Therapist States "Stop Attracting A**holes & Do This Instead" - Why You Cannot Find Genuine Men! - Lori Gottlieb (Video)

In this 3 July 2024 video, host Lisa Bilyeu sit down with Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist, NYT best selling author and podcast host. The discussion will share dating and relationship mistakes and truths, including why you keep attracting the wrong type of men, and what you can do to fix your approach and find someone sincerely interested and good for you!

More relationship wisdom will include…

- Why you can’t find genuine men and what you need to do to find a real “love match” instead
- How online dating & the paradox of choice is actually keeping you single
- Why you should have high standards, but not about what you think 
- The differences in how men and women approach dating, relationships, and marriage & how that causes problems down the line
- Why it’s actually best that all sales at the “husband store” are final
- Why you need to understand the difference between compatibility and having things in common
- How the misconstrued idea of feminism is setting women up for failed relationships
- How dating changes for women as we age 
- What green flags and red flags to look for when learning about someone new 
- And sooooo much more relationship wisdom!!

https://youtu.be/tZoW9X9ZtK0

CHAPTER MARKERS: 

[0:00] Having high standards that actually matter 
[19:18] Important discussions before marriage 
[38:08] Practical considerations in a long-term partnership
[53:33] Acting out of fear in relationships
[1:04:13] Focus on being a good partner
[1:27:25] Perception vs. reality in relationships

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LORI GOTTLIEB’S QUOTEWORTHY TRUTH BOMBS:

“People think that there is so much opportunity for someone, quote unquote better that they really don’t give anything a chance.”

“And so that’s more important than sort of who’s making the money or where the money is coming from is given our goals, how are we as a team going to do this?”

“It’s kind of like in the beginning of a relationship, it’s like you put down cement, right? And at the beginning of a relationship, the cement is still wet. You can still talk about these things. You can still kind of mold how you want it to go, but it’s kind of like if five years later you say the cement is dry and all of a sudden you say, you know what, I really want to do this financially.”

“You are not going to be happy if this pattern continues and it looks like it will. So are you signing up for this pattern or given all the other qualities that you like about this person? I would say give up some of the other qualities and choose the reliable person.”

“People don’t understand. They think that dating is a good test for marriage. You know, I think a lot of dating is a lot of sort of fantasy as opposed to, let me really look, you know, they say, oh, it’s very unromantic to talk about money and in laws and children and, you know, all these things. Well, no, it’s very romantic because if you’re going to spend your life with this person, you want to really know who they are and what they’re thinking about in terms of what they want in life.”

“Communication is not just like doing a dump of all of your feelings on the other person. That’s not communicating.”

“How are we working together so that we both feel seen, heard, understood.”

“People tend to be happiest when there is equal power, or at least similar types of power.”

“Women were expected to take care of everything at home in addition to now if they want to have a career. And then they’re doing all of the emotional labor of sort of running the household.”