The Day I Died: The Dark Night of The Soul Experience (Video)

January 24th, 2018

By Hilde Larsen

Guest writer for Wake Up World

“Please God, take me. End this suffering. I am done. No more of this. No more of anything. I am done.”

Like it was yesterday, I remember the first day I wanted to die, and meant it.

The despair, the feeling of being so utterly lost and frustrated that the only way out was to let this moment be the ending. The definite end of my life. It was the first of many days like this, a string of minutes, hours and days where my whole being cried for relief.

I was too sick to miss much of my regular life. I was disconnected from the world. I didn’t miss any of it, it seemed too distant. The family barely came to see me, and when they did, they would sit downstairs in the living room. Friends stopped inviting us to events, and none of them came knocking at our door.

From living a life filled with traveling, running my own business, being the center of the party, being the happy, energetic mother, sister, daughter, friend and wife, I became nothing. From being an athletic high heal bad ass do-it-all for everybody, I became nothing. Not for them, not for me. That was my truth. The Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lyme, ulcers and anxiety had me choking on my own life.

It was like the outside disappeared. Everything became silent. My phone stopped ringing, and I resided in a bubble of pain and loneliness. Reading on the Internet, praying, crying and raging. I became my emotions, the anger. I felt hopeless and helpless. I questioned everything. I no longer believed in the medical doctors and their training. I no longer had any hope of recovery. According to the ones that I had put my faith in, there was nothing that could be done to regain my health. Only a life where medication and pain, deformities and disabilities would reign. I was on my own.

CONTINUE READING:

I host the Church of Mabus radio show and it is going on 8 years. I’ve been in the paranormal community for 20 years. I provide content from a network of sources and guests and allies. Ranging from Politics to the Paranormal and the Spiritual. You can check out my other articles here at my BIOGRAPHY at BIN and you can check out my free radio show at this link HERE. Thanks for showing your support and stopping by.