Day One…
No special announcements. No roaring fire engines below my second-floor window, that glass separating me from Leavenworth Street in this Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco. Nix, naught, nothing. Just sitting at the desk below a framed pencil sketch of a crow (dark, smart and mysterious), surrounded by taped index cards with personal messages of what is to be done (write the novel, take the photographs, learn new perspectives on old lives and build), but not how to do it (who fucking knows)…and so I go, to a Vietnamese lesson beginning in a few minutes, contact with the culture and country that becomes ever more meaningful in its spiritual patterns of pagodas, desperately hot climates, chaos and noise of motorbikes on Saigon streets – just one more place where I want to belong, but don’t as a foreigner, as a tourist, American and incomprehensible sweaty being.
It’s how I function, breathing within a desire for the unattainable and leaving me in perpetual limbo between my current world of social work, suicidal San Francisco darkness and the light of another seat on another China Air jet in the future, landing at Ton Son Nat airport. My mind is cloudy from current asphalt residue while off to the side, that suffocatingly hot air clarity is close, but never close enough.
It’s hard to live in the shadows of a darkening street.
Source: https://draketoulouse.com/2025/06/01/day-one/
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