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Pimping property: update - new agent on the job!

Saturday, June 7, 2025 2:43

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Recap: the estate agent’s art has been on full display in the attempt to shift a pair of costly new-build white elephants down the road from Schloss Drew, replete with misleading CGI images and hilariously inventive euphemisms.

Now, perhaps because there has been no obvious movement on selling these large, smart, luxurious but hopelessly impractical properties (seven bedrooms but no garage, very difficult vehicular access, built into the side of a hill on a busy main road), a new estate agent has joined the fray. And – all credit to them – they present honest images! Here’s the photo they honourably display of the right-hand property as completed; and below, for comparison, the risible CGI we showed before.

In the flesh: steep, narrow front with retaining walls

In the first agent’s blurb: broad, gently sloping driveway

And here’s the steep back garden, which didn’t previously feature at all.

And where the first agent quoted a steep price but artificially lowered the front aspect, the second agent accurately shows the steep front … and quotes a lowered price. (see what I did there, hahah). Yes, the price has been dropped! Well, well. At £1.65m, though, still pricey - relative to what else that money can get you in the same neighbourhood (i.e. level plot, quiet road, big garden, expansive drive, big garage etc etc, and still very large & fine accommodation).

It must be said, some of the rooms look splendid indeed, and new-build is new-build, all mod cons and warranties too. Maybe somewhere there really is a very large family of wealthy, hill-climbing hermits who ride only bicycles and public buses, don’t need anything delivered to the front door, and very much want to live in spacious luxury on a main road. In Croydon.

Maybe. I’ll keep you posted.

Source: http://www.cityunslicker.co.uk/2025/06/pimping-property-update-new-agent-on-job.html

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