7 subtle signs someone’s true colors are finally showing, according to psychology

From the Personal Branding Blog

There’s a fine line between someone’s presented persona and their authentic self.

Often people put on a front, showcasing a version of themselves that’s more appealing or acceptable to others. But over time, signs emerge that give away their true nature.

According to psychology, these signs are often subtle yet revealing. They can tell you a lot about a person’s genuine character, the one they may be trying to hide.

In this piece, we’re going to delve into seven telltale signs that someone’s true colors are finally coming to light.

These indicators can help you discern between someone’s public image and their authentic self—enabling you to interact with people more effectively and authentically.

Let’s get started on this insightful journey towards understanding human nature better.

1) Inconsistent behavior

One of the first telltale signs that someone’s true colors are starting to show is inconsistent behavior.

When people are trying to present a particular image, their actions may not always align with their true character.

They can only keep up the act for so long, and over time, inconsistencies start to appear.

These inconsistencies can be in their words or actions. They might say one thing and do another, or their mood might abruptly shift based on the situation or the people they’re with.

As renowned psychologist Carl Jung famously said, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

This quote perfectly encapsulates the idea that actions speak louder than words.

Pay close attention to those inconsistencies. They’re often a window into a person’s true self, revealing aspects of their character that they might prefer to keep hidden.

2) Frequent lies

Another sign that someone’s true colors are starting to seep through is frequent lying.

I remember a colleague of mine, let’s call him John. On the surface, John was the epitome of a team player, always saying the right things and making the right promises.

But over time, I noticed his actions hardly ever matched his words.

Projects he promised to deliver on time would be delayed, tasks he swore he’d completed were untouched, and promises he made were frequently broken.

This constant lying was a clear red flag and revealed a side of John that was far from his projected team player image.

As Sigmund Freud once said, “He who has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”

Keep an eye out for those little lies. They often give away much more about someone’s character than they might realize.

3) Lack of empathy

Have you ever been around someone who seemed indifferent to the feelings or experiences of others?

A key sign that someone’s true colors are emerging is a noticeable lack of empathy.

They might dismiss others’ feelings, show little regard for other people’s perspectives, or seem uninterested in things that don’t directly affect them.

This lack of empathy can be a window into their true nature, revealing a self-centered and uncaring side that they may typically keep hidden.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman, known for his work on emotional intelligence, once said, “Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike.”

When someone consistently shows a lack of empathy, it’s often because they’re letting their guard down and their true personality is showing.

It’s a stark reminder that their social intelligence might not be as high as they want to portray.

4) Frequent blame shifting

Another revealing sign is when someone frequently shifts blame onto others.

People who are not authentic often avoid taking responsibility for their actions or mistakes.

Instead, they shift the blame onto others, using them as scapegoats to save face or to avoid dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Individuals who frequently shift blame are often trying to protect their self-image.

They may be insecure about their own shortcomings and use blame shifting as a defense mechanism.

This behavior can provide a clear glimpse into a person’s true character, showing that they may not be as accountable or trustworthy as they initially appear to be.

Keep an eye out for blame shifters; their actions often reveal more than they intend to.

5) Superiority complex

We’ve all met someone who seems to think they’re better than everyone else, haven’t we?

A superiority complex can be a glaring sign of someone’s true colors.

Individuals who constantly need to feel superior often belittle others, are overly critical, or have an inflated sense of their own importance.

This behavior can be quite revealing. It often masks a deep-seated insecurity, as they try to elevate themselves by diminishing others.

The renowned psychologist Alfred Adler spoke extensively about the superiority complex in his work.

He said, “The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge to conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation.”

If you notice someone constantly asserting their superiority, take note. It’s often a sign of their true character peeking through their façade.

6) Overly charming

Surprisingly, an excess of charm can sometimes be a red flag.

While charm is often seen as a positive trait, when it’s used excessively, it can be a sign of someone trying to manipulate others.

These individuals often use their charm to sway others’ opinions or to hide their true intentions.

Robert Hare, a psychologist known for his research on psychopathy, wrote in his book ‘Without Conscience’: “Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life… completely lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please.”

So, remember: excessive charm isn’t always as harmless as it seems. It can often be a sign of someone’s true colors shining through their veneer of charisma.

7) Lack of boundaries

Finally, a disregard for boundaries can be a clear indicator of someone’s true colors.

Individuals who consistently overstep or disregard others’ boundaries often show a lack of respect for personal space and autonomy.

As psychologist Henry Cloud wisely stated, “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”

When someone consistently ignores these boundaries, it’s a telltale sign of their true character.

Final reflections

Understanding human behavior is a complex and fascinating journey.

The subtle signs that reveal someone’s true colors are often hidden in plain sight, waiting to be discerned by those willing to observe.

As we navigate through our interactions, these insights can serve as a guide, helping us to understand others better, and perhaps even reveal more about our own true selves.

Remember, the aim here isn’t to judge or label, but to gain a deeper understanding of the people around us.

After all, authenticity and understanding are the cornerstones of any meaningful relationship.

As you interact with others, stay observant. You never know when someone’s true colors might start to show.

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