7 things you’re doing that you probably don’t realize are making you less popular

From the Personal Branding Blog

Ever feel like no matter what you do, you just don’t seem to click with people the way you’d hoped?

I’ve been there. In my younger years, I often found myself wondering why certain friendships fizzled out or why I felt like I wasn’t connecting in social settings.

Looking back, it’s clear I was unknowingly making some pretty common mistakes.

The truth is, we all have habits that might rub people the wrong way—even if we don’t realize it. They’re not glaringly obvious, but over time, they can make us seem less approachable or relatable.

Today, we’re breaking down seven of these sneaky behaviors. Fixing them might just be the key to improving your relationships and your social confidence.

Let’s get started.

1) Being a conversation hog

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

― Epictetus

This one hits close to home for me. Back in the day, I was the kind of person who couldn’t wait to share my stories, opinions, and experiences—so much so that I didn’t realize I was dominating every conversation.

Then, a friend gently called me out on it. She pointed out that I wasn’t leaving much room for others to speak. That moment hit hard, but it also opened my eyes.

When I started focusing more on listening, asking questions, and letting others share, something amazing happened: people opened up more, and I felt more connected.

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—it’s a common habit, especially when we’re excited. But taking a step back and tuning in can make a massive difference in how others view you.

Everyone wants to feel heard. Be the person who gives them that gift.

2) Gossiping

Look, we all love a juicy story now and then. It’s human nature to want to share and hear about what’s going on in other people’s lives.

But there’s a fine line between casual conversation and gossip—and crossing it can quickly erode trust and damage your reputation.

In fact, research by Money Penny found that gossiping is the second most annoying coworker habit, right after laziness. That’s a pretty strong statement!

Gossip might feel harmless in the moment, but it can easily create a toxic atmosphere and make others question your reliability.

Next time you’re tempted to share something that isn’t yours to share, pause and ask yourself: “Is this helpful? Kind? Necessary?” If the answer is no, it’s probably best to stay quiet.

Choosing to rise above gossip not only protects your relationships but also sets you apart as someone people can trust.

3) Avoiding vulnerability

How often do we put up walls, trying to appear strong, unbothered, or completely self-sufficient?

It’s a natural defense mechanism—we avoid vulnerability because it feels risky. It means opening up, sharing our true selves, and facing the possibility of rejection or judgment.

However, vulnerability is also the key to meaningful connection. As renowned researcher Brené Brown beautifully puts it:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

When we shy away from showing vulnerability, we might seem distant, aloof, or even uninterested in forming deeper relationships. In truth, it’s those moments of honesty and openness that bring us closer to others.

Whether it’s sharing a fear, admitting a mistake, or expressing gratitude, letting people see the real you creates trust and invites authenticity in return.  It’s a superpower that fosters connection and strengthens bonds.

4) Overdoing sarcasm

Don’t get me wrong. Sarcasm can be a fun way to lighten the mood. It’s witty, it’s sharp, and it can lead to some good laughs.

But there’s a thin line between playful sarcasm and hurtful remarks. Cross it too often, and you might find people starting to steer clear of you.

You see, constant sarcasm can be off-putting. It might make others feel like they’re always the butt of the joke or that you’re not taking them seriously.

Balance your witty comments with genuine compliments and kindness. That way, people will see your humor, without feeling belittled or disrespected.

5) Neglecting personal hygiene

This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth mentioning. Personal hygiene plays a big role in how people perceive you.

If you’re neglecting basic hygiene habits like regular showers, brushing your teeth, or washing your clothes, it can negatively impact your popularity.

People are more likely to distance themselves from someone with poor hygiene. It’s not just about physical attractiveness, it’s about respect for yourself and others around you.

6) Always being negative

We all have our down days. But if you’re always the one bringing negative energy into every conversation, it can start to take a toll on people around you.

Negativity can be draining. It can make interactions feel heavy and burdensome instead of enjoyable. Over time, people might start to avoid you to escape the constant pessimism.

Try to cultivate a more positive mindset. That doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time or ignore your problems. But focusing on the good, even in tough situations, can make you more approachable and likable.

7) Bragging

It’s natural to want to share your accomplishments. After all, you’ve worked hard, and you’re proud of what you’ve achieved.

But, and it’s a big but, when sharing turns into bragging, it can quickly rub people the wrong way.

In fact, according to the same Money Penny research mentioned earlier, the bragger ranked as the fourth most annoying type of coworker.

Here’s the thing: your achievements will speak for themselves if you let them. Instead of constantly talking about how great you are, try focusing on celebrating others’ successes, asking questions, and staying humble.

When people see that you’re confident without being boastful, they’ll be more likely to respect and admire you.

Reflection: The power of self-awareness

We all have habits that could unknowingly push people away—but the good news is, awareness is the first step to change.

By tweaking these behaviors, you can strengthen your relationships and become someone people genuinely enjoy being around.

Small changes can make a big difference. So, which of these will you work on first?

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